Death is part of life…

If there is anything, most expats don’t even consider when planning to move abroad is death. Hopefully, for most, it doesn’t occur, but death is part of life. Whether you are home or abroad, death happens, and there isn’t anything we can do about it.

Being on the other side of the world can make you feel like time stands still at home. It’s a strange feeling. So, when a situation like this occurs, it almost doesn’t feel real. C. S Lewis identifies three stages we go through when we face death: shock, grief, and resolution. But, we know, those are just theories…There is no typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our life.

In this digital age, discovering the death of loved ones through social media has become increasingly common. Each time we turn on the screen, the news is announced to us over and over. It’s not the creepy call in the middle of the night anymore. Often, our mourning ends up taking the same approach that the announcement did. We change our profile photos, post public condolences, and maybe even post a little memory of the loved one. The benefit of this digital connection for those far away is to connect instantly. It allows us to “mourn together over social media” even though it feels rather empty.

Then comes the new issue. What shall I do? Should I go home? Should I attend the funeral? Attending helps accept the reality of death. Sharing the loss with other family and friends can bring comfort to the newly bereaved expatriate. However, not everyone can get back immediately.

Keep in mind

1. Join as much as possible
   in the mourning ceremony.
2. Look at pictures. Talk with people who were close to the deceased. If you are far away, email them. Call them or use Skype. Just get in touch.
3. Rely on
   your network both here and at home. Share your feelings with the people around you.
4. If you recognize that you are getting very angry with people around you, remember this. Your anger is deflected from your mourning process.
5. Its ok if you can’t make it home
   to say goodbye or for the funeral. Make peace with your decision.

  So, yes, grieving as an expat is a real threat. Take care of yourself! Like it or not, time heals

Ines Estrada Vigil