Hello, I have to tell you to be aware. this blog is not a politically correct blog. I am completely aware that many may dislike what I have to say but, this is me…This is what I think ,my conclusions after dealing with people during 25 years .So.Here it goes.
Some have a loving mother
Lucky those who have had a loving mother who was able to nurture and take care of their sons as human puppies Lucky those who have had a mother that, when older, was able to walk them through the process of independence. Lucky those who have had a mother who was able to accept them in their difference without judging.
Lucky those who have had a mother to rely on when the outside world looked dark.
Lucky those who have had a mother and were able to count on their mother when they fell, a mother who was able to say words of wisdom, gave their kids comfort and consolation when wounded.
Mothers are not superheroes
Well, sorry to say, many mothers are not able to do that. The process of giving birth does not enable you to nurture and take care of others. There are far too many mothers that just do not have the ability to nurture.
So, for all those sons and daughters who have not had that blessings remember, many, far too many mothers just do not know how to mother.
Many, far too many, sons and daughters go through the long process of looking at their mothers trying to understand why their mother is, or was, not able to love them. Many sons and daughters spend long periods of their lives trying to be accepted and finally discover ,that ,mothers are not superheroes. Mothers are real human beans with their own scars and needs. And not the stereotype sold on the tv.
Some mothers just did what they could with the tools they had, and, their difficulties to nurture, to love, is only information about the mother. This difficulty to mother is about the mother and not the son or daughter. To be able to mother is information about the mother, deeply related to her story, her background and under no circumstances depends on the ability of the son to be taken care of.
Some just cannot nurture
To have a mother who has not been able to nurture you is something that hurts madly. In many cases even makes you wonder if there is anything wrong with you that you are not worthy of being loved. For many dealing with these issues this is a life long process and it hurts madly when you do not give it some kind of closure .
According to my experience It is not a question of forgiven, it’s a matter of understanding and accepting that the mother they sell in commercials ,on social media isn’t real. When we come to peace with this concept, that is when we grow as adults.
So, to wrap up here…if you were part of the lucky ones that had a loving mother, thank your mother for her great job , but if you are part of those who have had a mother who has not been able to mother you, do not feel guilty. It is not your fault. She just did was she was taught to do .Did what she could.
Look for help
If you are having a hard time dealing with your mental health, do not hesitate and ask for help.
At Estrada Vigil & Medical Group we can give you a hand! We offer in office and online services. Because of social distancing, however, in-person sessions are less possible. This has made psychotherapy more available. Do not wait. Reach out to us and, let us, help you cope with your difficulties!