That we are living through crazy times is no big news, to find a moment of joy is challenging. I am sure we must learn how to stick on to the joy we find and celebrate it because it will give us the strength to keep on going. We need to refill our resilience tank because the game is still not over.
I wonder. Do we feel we have no right to be happy? The news, nation and worldwide, were so terrible this morning that I was surprised to feel this way when I caught myself smiling. I even felt happy for a while. Should I feel guilty to be happy? Sometimes I am bound to feel guilty when experiencing joy.
It feels strange and sometimes makes me wonder if I am lacking empathy or, what is going on inside me. I can feel joy even though, I see (and I care) about people around me. So, I thought why I feel guilty feeling happy. Well, here are my thoughts….
I cannot control what I feel
We cannot control what we feel. Maybe adults can hide it…Kids don’t. We are not responsible for what we feel but for what we do with what we feel. It is important to pay attention to what you feel, they are a result of our senses Our senses help us. We can smell, and when something stinks, we know we should not eat it because it is not eatable…We can touch, and we can be aware of heat and cold, then, leave it or grab it. Hope it would all be so black and white, with guilt, it is not so easy. Guilt is not shame. When we feel shame, it is because we did something wrong. When we feel guilt, it is weird. We can feel guilty because we are having an instant of joy in the middle of a crisis…
It is normal to feel a range of emotions altogether, all mixed up, or, one after the other, Happiness, sadness, joy, anger, guilt… I consider it important to work on self-awareness, acknowledge whatever is that you are feeling, and understand that it is not good or bad. Feeling happy during tough times is not a reflection of your empathy or lack of respect for people’s grief or suffering, it is just a pocket of joy that helps us move on and help others drive through these tough times.
Do not show happiness or it will disappear
This is a superstition fear that is as old as humanity. People used to think that if you showed happiness if you give it a voice, you might upset the gods and they would make it disappear. Sounds ridiculous but I was raised with that thought. No celebrating forehand because it would just bust away.
We need to stop letting guilt interrupt our happiness. Allow ourselves to feel whatever there is to feel even that minute of joy and leave the mind aside
Everyone’s journey is their own
Each one of us lives the way we can. Happiness is also an attitude. Everyone feels the impact of an event in a particular and personal way, based on her own story, each one of us has our journey. What can impact me and make me feel happy might not make someone else feel the same way.
Though the presence of others in our lives makes it nicer and helping others helps us feel well, remember we are not responsible for others’ happiness. We are only responsible for our joy, and our joy depends on our attitude towards those moments we have of happiness.
To make it short, I think we all must work on self-acceptance and allow ourselves to feel whatever we are feeling. If we are sad, give it space; if we are happy, allow ourselves to be happy and feel good about it. It is hard to have moments of joy and it is even harder to hold on to those moments of happiness in the daily chaos.
Remember happiness now does not mean happiness forever. Joy is an instant, a moment, a gift that can help us through tough times, an attitude, so, chase it. Find it and try to hold on to it.