During the covid outbreak for many of us, priorities changed, and things that were given for granted suddenly disappeared. We had to adjust to a new normality.We had to redifine our social life.we had to live with the unpredictable.We had to choose our battles almost on daily basis..
To choose means to be selective of the problems, arguments, and confrontations that you get involved in, save your time only for the things that matter. This means fighting the most important battles and letting go of the rest.
Choosing your battles often balances on a thin line between knowing when to take something further and when to turn away.
Are You Choosing Your Battles?
If you can choose your battles you will not spend all your life fighting and will have more energy to stand for the important ones.
Each one of us has some things worth taking a stand for. These change from one person to another and from one time to another For me, the key relies in knowing the difference, and expressing your preference from an intention to create the clarity that can promote the kind of interaction that supports respectful dialogue, rather than reacting in ways that generate defensiveness and opposition.
This process begins with the way in which we frame the situation in our own minds. The words that we use to define it. The way we frame the situation has a great deal of power to set the context for the type of communication that will ensue. Conceptualizing an encounter as a “battle” predisposes each of us to assume an adversarial position since battles result in winners and losers, and the stakes can be high.
Pick your battles
We know that not everyone thinks the same, and we also know that not everyone is willing to change their thoughts or even admit they have made some mistake, so we need to be careful and choose what we want to fight for. We need to have a clear idea of what we want to achieve after we engage in this encounter. We need to remember the purpose of that battle, what we want to get out of it, what we might gain (or lose) in the process, and, according to that, choose to fight or just go away…
Choose your opponient.You need to be clever enough to know there are some people not woth fighting against for what ever reason .Dont let anger make you loose what you must have always in sight,the meaning ,or sense of what you are fighting for…
Tips to consider …
There is no perfect way to argue, but there are some ways of fighting better than others.
At times, the best way to fight may be to not fight at all. In fact many healthy relationships hinge on a couple’s ability to know which issues are worth fighting over and which ones are worth letting go of.
- Only fight about issues that are enormously important. Evaluate the consequences of an argument.
- Do not react immediately. Wait. Choose the right time.
- Communicate. Choose your words carefully. Agree to disagree.
Success is also letting go
Let go of unresolved problems. If the problem remains unresolved despite your best effort, let it go. Success comes not from not winning every battle but from learning to let go when it is time to do so. This is the point where you exit the battle because you have incurred your maximum loss and you do not want to invest any more time or energy into this.